A Tough Week

About ten days ago I had my second chemotherapy treatment and it has been tough since then. Thankfully, I am feeling much better today and I think the worst is behind me.

When I went for my second treatment I was battling a nasty cough/cold (bronchitis, which they thought might be pneumonia).  An x-ray didn't show any pneumonia and my white blood cell counts were high so they went ahead with the chemotherapy and thought I'd feel better soon.  It was wishful thinking that I would just get better on my own because I kept feeling worse and worse.  All the side effects of chemotherapy were compounded by a fever and incredible fatigue.  I didn't do much for a week except lay in bed and feel like crying.  On top of feeling bad all of the stubble on my head came off when I was taking a bath and that was traumatic to be in a bathtub full of bits of hair - YUCK! and such a stark reality.  And then to add to the situation little Adam came down with pink eye and poor Sarah had a flu bug that kept her home from school most of the week.  I thought a lot this week about two books: THE HIDING PLACE and UNBROKEN. Both are stories about WWII survival experiences and I thought of the main characters and drew strength from their endurance. I also thought a lot about the quote, "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet."  There are so many other things that  are far worse than what I am going through and it was a hard week but thinking that it could be worse helped me keep perspective.

Relief finally came when my doctor prescribed an antibiotic and the chest infection began to clear up.  I don't think I will ever take for granted a regular day of good health again.  It is such a blessing to just feel normal and when all of this is over I will cherish each day of just feeling normal.  Just breathing easily is a blessing!

In the midst of this tough week I found so many things to be grateful for and I thought I'd share a few that I wrote in my journal...

A body that can move, hear, see, feel, and breathe

Beautiful children who lift my heart and mind. Looking at their faces gives me hope and makes me smile

A husband who is a dear friend and a joy to be with

The beautiful earth that surrounds me. I love seeing the giant trees out my window and watching flocks of little birds eat winter berries

Hearing Sarah play the piano

Being able to read scriptures and feel the Spirit

That I am able to stay home and rest during chemotherapy

Extended family and friends who send notes of encouragement

Friends who come to the door with cheery smiles and love 

       

Homemade meals from friends that settled my tummy and comforted me

These are just a few of the many, many blessings that I recorded during this time.  I feel so grateful for the countless daily miracles that have lifted my heart and soul.

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." 

 Winston Churchill